SOCIAL DISTANCING

These are definitely not ordinary times we are in and it has led to some rather extra-ordinary measures of different kinds by various people, depending on your peculiar circumstances. When news of the novel Corona virus of 2019 cases were reported in some countries on the continent, I guess most of us knew deep down, it was only a matter of time before a case is reported in our dear country.

Our first case was recorded on March 12, 2020 (or thereabouts) and although we were all expecting this but hoping against hope that it will somehow pass over us like the plague passed over the Israelites in Egypt, many a Ghanaian expressed shock, fear and even in some cases panic and paranoia. Parents like myself began asking school heads direct questions on what next – should our kids wear face masks to school, do they even need to come to school at all and similar questions.

Between March 12 to 30, 2020 when the President finally announced the partial lockdown among many other measures to control the spread, I had one friend in the US who called me and said, ‘Debbie, you really need to stock up on essential items you will need for a long time in a possible lockdown mode’ – he was even kind enough to share his list with me to guide my purchases. I had another friend who is an epidemiologist in the Denmark, also tell me that he and some colleagues had done some projections and the recorded cases in the country in the coming days, are going to go up rapidly unless drastic and strict measures are put in place by the government. He added that, listening to news from Ghana and interacting with fellow Ghanaians here, it appeared the urgency of the threat this virus presents was lost on most, based on warped assumptions that it does not affect black people, the heat in Africa is too much for the virus to thrive, we eat a lot of spices that will kill the virus upon entry, etc. As at the time of writing this article, Ghana has 408 confirmed cases.

I know why both of these friends were psyching me up for what lies ahead – an era of a highly infectious virus which is no respecter of persons, social cliques and status, educational backgrounds, etc and even more so on people with underlying chronic conditions and compromised immunity like my son. I guess if you follow this blog, you already know I have a son with Down syndrome – this is a chap that ordinarily, a cold can send him to the hospital for days. The recommended things to do within this period to protect oneself, especially the social distancing is great, if only everyone will strictly adhere to it.

I believe everyone of practices social distancing at one point or the other but if you ask any parent raising a child with special needs, they will tell you that one of their coping tools is, social distancing, and it can be used for varying scenarios such as to protect our little ones from stigma, give us the space we need to dig deep for the last reserve of energy to carry on for one more day, to conduct our uninterrupted research on resources we can use to help our child, to consult with  that specialist or the other, on the way forward for our child and many others.

The difference between the social distancing we do and what is currently imposed is, we get to choose where, when and how to enforce it. However, the scope of the current social distancing is limited to your house or your last location at the time of this enforcement. Although this is not different from what I have done from time to time in the last 6+ years, this is the most difficult because explaining to my son why can’t go to his favorite places like school, dance classes, the beach, Saturdays with his cousins and the random road trips, has not been easy. We have been home in a self-imposed lockdown with restricted movement for only me, since March 22, 2020!

My little man has been patient, albeit grudgingly. He has been privileged to have online classes and meet his teachers and classmates virtually but I realized that, these even makes the desire to see them in person stronger because he gets moody towards the end of each class and I will spend minutes explaining why he can’t see them in person. His dance studio sent us dance moves he can practice at home and I also tried my very best to keep up with the bursts of energy in the course of each day where he wants me to be part of whatever activity he is interested in.

The day after the President’s 6^th update (April 10, 2020), I decided to get some fruits and other essential items from the Adenta market – I told my KEY that we are going out and he had to stay close to mummy at all times. After the pep talk, I went into my room to get dressed, by the time I came out, somebody was ready – had selected his outfit and worn them (as in the picture above). Fortunately, I got a colleague and neighbor to accompany us and keep an eye on him while I went into the market to buy our essential supplies. This is someone who has strictly observed the lock-down and restricted movement instruction. I know for a fact she has not stepped out of her house since March 30, 2020.

The speed with which he chose all the details of his outfit and wore them just made me realize just how much this guy is missing the outside world. For the sake of these children and all of us, can we please observe this social distancing in addition to all other precautionary measures stipulated by the WHO and our government to enable us get back to life as we knew it, even if with a few permanent changes?

Stay at home, go out only if it is essential. Wash your hands with soap under running water and in the absence of soap and water, use alcohol-based hand sanitizers to keep your hands clean. Avoid touching your mouth, nose and eyes as much as possible. When in public spaces, use your non-dominant hand to open doors and touch other surfaces (this requires a conscious effort). Don’t forget to eat fruits and vegetables as well as drink a lot of water. My family’s safety depends on you as much as yours depends on me – let’s be safe together.

Do you see the current helplessness that you feel? When you are stepping out, the uncertainty and anxiety you feel because you just don’t know who may be carrying the virus and knowingly or unknowingly pass it on to you? The desire to do something but you just don’t know what to do, especially to fill the seemingly too much time you have on your hands right now? The hope of seeing that new love once again for a stolen kiss, a hug, a mere touch, anything rather than spending the time all alone? Well, when all of this is over, don’t forget these feelings because that is the daily life of parents raising children with special needs – the social isolation and stigma simply because they have a child that is different! Hmmm….

Don’t forget to check on friends and family, you might just brighten someone’s day with your simple hello. Thank you to everyone who has checked on me and my KEY – we are keeping safe as much as we can. We will get through this – we will come out of this definitely changed, but hopefully, for the better.